the hand book on how to's on annoying dmc cast!
by 0CRAZYPOEPLE0
Summary: the complete handbook on annoying the devil may cry charecters...if you have any requets as to which one you want to torment and how just say so and we'll give you ideas! note:we are not responsible for any deaths, injuries, or punishments. you are warned
1. Chapter 1: torment them!

How to annoy the devil may cry charecters

HAHAHA!

Buy a bible and follow them around reading it to them

Run around screaming "the demons are coming, the demons are coming!"

Spike their drinks with alcohol.

Dress up as the grim reaper and do a very bad imitation of him.

Draw the pentagram sign everywhere

Jump up and down for no reason

Steal their stuff and hide them in the toilet

Flush the beer down the toilet

Speak in make believe Latin.

Dress up as bin laden and do the numa numa dance.

Sing hallelujah

Dress up as a priest and start preaching about hell.

Do the maceraina dance

write a fan letter to them and end the paper with "This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds".

if the devil hunters have to make you write a document for them put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if they notice

when emailing them, Type gibberish. if they ask why your doing that ,claim that your computer crashed while you were typing it, and you couldn't type the original message.

Tell sparda that you need an extension because one of your primary sources is an old wise man in Tibet and he won't see you until the next full moon.

On the day something is due and you have to go see the devil hunterssr , skip into the devil may cry shop, waving the paper and screaming, "I have a paper! I have a paper!". Run around the room a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, "There's my paper!", then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until dante throws you out.

Adjust the tint on dante's tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

Construct elaborate "crop circles" in the back yard

spike sparda's tea with vodka

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

team up with the jester and both of you sing the 99 bottles of beer song whenever any of the dmc charecters are around

Holler random things while dante is counting

Inform nero of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

Inform vergil that he only exists in your imagination.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Sing along at the opera

When leaving the devil towar, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

point a hairdryer at the charecters whenever they walk by and see if they notice

Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Do Tai Chi exercises.

Give religious tracts to arkham

Lean over to dante and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

One word: Flatulence!

Meow occassionally


	2. Chapter 2:torment vergil!

THE SECONED CHAPTER OF LUNACY!!!!!!!!!!!

OK. This is the continued part of the devil may cry lunacy stuff. And now to torment Vergil, we shall give ideas on how to annoy him!

Vergil:nooooooooooooo!

^_^

Play the harmonica badly when your around him

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to him that this is your "personal space."

Pretend your nelo and Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Sing church songs when your around him

Follow him everywhere

Speak in latin

Shadow box.

If you have to bring a file to him, Bring candles and incense. Before handing in the paper, perform an elaborate ceremony, entreating the gods to bless the paper and correct all your typos

Carve your paper on the bathroom wall.

Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things between demon history. For example, claim that abnormal amounts of neutrino activity in Germany caused saten to invade France, or that the demon empire collapsed because of a shortage of qualified botanists.

Always End the paper you hand in to him with "This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds".

If he assignes a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can't do the paper because you're not sure if the class really exists, or if it and him are just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the paper, write about whether or not the paper actually exists.

Perfume the paper with catnip. If he complains Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it.

If he gives you a file poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way


	3. Chapter 3:torment dante!

THIRD CHAPTER!

THIS FIC IS SOMEHOW GETTING POPULAR SO NOW WE WILL GIVE WAYS TO annoy dante

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times

mow his lawn with sisscors

ask him what gender he is

Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

stand over his shoulder mubiling as he read's

light road flares on his birthday cake

ask him if he bacame a demon hunter bacuse he was too stupid to work at macdonald's

dye his hair pink

hide his beer

burn his porn collection

rob him of his pizza

repaet everything he says as a question

Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of his road maps

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Practice making fax and modem noises

poke him repeatdly

point out the window and yell "demon!" and if he goes outside lock him out of the house

trick him and see if you can get him into a gay bar


	4. Chapter 4: torment sparda!

Ha! new chapter! how to annoy sparda!

sparda: say what?

Ask stupid questions

Build a pyramid.

Exorcize him

Go to his funeral...tell jokes.

Learn to write latin

learn to read latin

Make a deal with the Devil...keep your fingers crossed.

Walk on water...but DON'T get caught.

If you don't win in a game agaisnt him, run for God.

If you still don't win, run for Mayor of San Francisco.

Run for Pope

kidnap dante and mail sparda a ransom saying if he doesn't give you 90 millon dollares your gonna convert dante to roman catholisim

break his teacups

spike his tea

kill his tea(ok that doens't make senes)

NEXT CHAPTER!: HOW TO ANNOY NERO! COMING SOON!

NERO:(kills himself)


	5. Chapter 5:torment nero!

HOW TO ANNOY NERO! WE ARE GETTING POPULAR PEOPLE!

NERO: JUST FUCKIN DIE ALREADY!

Vacuum the lawn

While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).

Pretend you are invisible.

While going down in an elevatorwith him scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" for no apparent reason.

Explain "the little green men" in detail to him, and when he doesn't believe you, accuse him of being one in disguise.

Send him annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.

Walk up to him and ask, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"

Sendthis list to all of his friends through email

Continue to ask him, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.

Tap him on the shoulder repeatedly.

Look at his brain in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew you had this!" 


End file.
